Love in Action

I’ve been through a dry spell lately and am struggling with having faith in NYC. I've been saving this blog, and it seems like a good way to start the new year. No matter your belief system, we can all be a better friend.

A wise person recently told me “If you’re a Christian and see a friend in need, it isn’t enough to be empathetic; offer to help.” How simple and true. I’d like to think that simply sharing in people’s emotion is enough. Chat on the phone (i.e. text) for a few minutes, say something nice to cheer them up, and move on. Except it’s not enough. I'm not saying that words mean nothing; sometimes the right words can save a life, but often, actions speak louder than words. There’s a huge difference in saying “I know how you feel, I’m sorry.” vs “Friend, how can I help? What can I do?”

I can think of a great example from my own life. My adventure-loving aunt and uncle (the ones who taught me to love travel) had just boarded a cruise in Singapore. First stop: Malaysia... but my uncle got sick. I’ll spare you the gory details, but his bladder was bleeding, and it backed up into his kidneys which were beginning to shut down. They went straight to a local Malaysian hospital for surgery.

They were scared, alone, and sick - truly a nightmare. I wanted to help, but being 10,000 miles away, it felt impossible. However, after living in Asia for several years, I knew I had some friends and friends-of-friends in Malaysia, so I took a shot in the dark and asked for help on Facebook. Several friends expressed concern and empathy, but one went above them all.

I met Nathan at a conference for missionaries in Thailand a couple years ago, and he happened to live in Penang, Malaysia - exactly where my family was. Not being in the medical field, I wasn’t sure what he could do, but I gave him their contact info and the name of their hospital. I already felt better just knowing someone was in their vicinity.

A couple hours later, I was getting ready for bed and a video appeared on my Facebook page. Nathan had gone to visit my family and took a video to show everyone that they were alive and well. He has a job, a beautiful wife and kids, and his own agenda, and he went out of his way to drop by and check on strangers. Who does that?!

This went on for many days: he would bring them local food, laughter, and conversation. Every video brought a huge smile to my face and gave us all hope. He even brought his parents to visit them, and which was the highlight of their whole hospital stay. It was almost like they’d known each other forever.

Of course we appreciated everyone’s thoughts and prayers, but I can truly say that Nathan and his family made a huge impact simply by showing up. With every video, we were amazed at Nathan’s kindness and selflessness. Disclaimer: this doesn’t mean he is perfect or better than anyone (sorry Nathan), but this situation really showed me how to tangibly be a better friend. It taught me to slow down and make an offer when I see a friend in need. Even if I have nothing specific to give, and no matter how busy or inconvenienced I may feel.

So, can I challenge you? Next time your friend (or family or stranger) says they’ve had a bad day, are sick, or have a flat tire, offer to do something. Time. Service. A meal. Be more than the average friend who says sorry and moves on with their day; it can make a world of difference.

1 John 3:18 Little children, let's not love with words or speech,

but with action and truth.