“Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.”
– One
Republic
Over the last 6 months, the most important thing I’ve
learned is how naturally detached I am from God. Simply by being born, my very
own nature innately and consistently chooses to turn away from God and focus on
myself. How heartbreaking. My heart is an idol factory, always on the lookout
for ways to make myself feel valued, loved, and worthy. If I take my eyes off Christ
for a second (which, let’s be honest, happens about 37,892 times a day), I
begin looking for the next best thing, trading in His promises for a cheap, temporary fix.
Why does it feel so natural to chase these other things (idols, sins, gods)? How
could my heart do this to God over and over again?
In the wise words of One Republic, “everything that kills me
makes me feel alive.” How true is that? Seeking ourselves often provides an
immediate, exaggerated spike in self-gratification. We feel alive and better than ever;
endorphins pumping. We forget our need
for Jesus because for just a moment, we gained that feeling for ourselves. We
are our hero. Or, maybe we think it has nothing to do with Jesus at all; we're simply
trying to make ourselves feel better and don’t see it as the replacement of God
(spoiler: it is).
So, what happens next? We continue to chase that feeling and
feel depleted when we can’t find it. Or if we do find it, the happiness
passes just as fast as it came. It’s both addictive and unsustainable, but the idol
eventually fails us. This is always
the case because the Bible promises it!
Deuteronomy 8:19 says in the end, we and whatever we are seeking above God will
perish. We and our idols cannot and will not stand the ultimate test of time.
“It shall come about if you ever forget the Lord your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I testify against you today that you will surely perish.” Deut. 8:19
After many
rounds of this chasing game, I’ve come to believe (and yet still doubt) that
Jesus is the only thing that can provide the long-lasting, stable fulfillment
that I am seeking. The thing that I’m habitually searching for can only be found
in Christ – through steady, consistent and intentional relationship with Him.
We shouldn’t simply chase our fleeting emotions but preach to them and constantly
remind ourselves of the one source of all things good and true. And even if we “know”
this, we will continue to fight our very own nature every
day for the rest of our lives.
What makes you feel alive?
Money? Affection? Power?
Comfort? Approval?
Let's plan to battle daily to turn away from ourselves and re-orient towards God
- the only one who can never be replaced. Soldiers, prepare for combat.
You should really think about becoming a pastor!!! You are extremely wise and look at the bigger picture than what is right in front of you. You’re well versed in the Bible, you study scripture, and you have an inquisitive mind. The introspection that you provide from your own life experiences of how you deal with and process different things and situations is extremely relatable!! You are well traveled and easily relate to people from different backgrounds and socioeconomic upbringings. You are truly an inspiration and a motivator in my life and that’s why I love you!! -John Tyler Lewis
ReplyDeleteWow, that means a lot Tyler. I love you too! I’m far from where I’d like to be and need to study the Bible more. Thank you so much for reading my posts and commenting!
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